“Love is a Battlefield”, is not just a great 80’s song, but a relevant warning for all unsuspecting humans looking for that special connection 🧝🏻🧙🏻♀️
What is romantic love? Love is primal, chemical and some ethereal element that poets, philosophers and artists have all been caught up in, since the age they untangled themselves from Merlin’s beard 🧙🏻
Do I know what romantic love is? Yes…it’s that committed feeling to another human, combined with positive feelings, thoughts, intentions which leads to a deeper form of feeling-commitment. Romantic love is that slow-withering fluffy feeling in your heart, that gets lit and dimmed sometimes within the same day.
It’s like really really loving black forest cake 🎂 It’s your favourite cake. You know it’s good. You know it’s going to feel good when you’re eating it. You know you’re going to want more and more. If you don’t have blackforest cake for a while, you only miss it more. The heart doth grow fonder. Unfortunately, as you leave the black forest cake out of the fridge for too long, it’s going to become a bit stinky.
So, how do you stop your black forest cake from becoming stinky? Or more importantly, I hear you ask, how would you stop your love from becoming like curdled cream.
You PIP yourself! 💁🏼♀️
What does all this PIP yourself mean….okay, let me start right from the beginning…(I will be using ‘Mr, guy, he, him’ etc. but change it to the way you would think of it)…
- You meet that special guy who gives you hope, wonder and gah-gah 🤩🤩🤩
- You go on a few dates and confirm, yes, you want to see more of each other 🤩🤩🤩
- You’re getting excited about seeing him! 🤩😘😍
- A month passes and things are just amazing👩❤️👨🥰😍
- PROBATION! 🛑🛑🛑
- “Wait…what?” I hear you say. 🙎♀️
- You heard me….probation. First probation meeting at one month!
- “Ummm…this sounds kinda like an HR thing?..” you say 🤷♀️The force is strong with this one….🦄
- Yes, damn straight. He’s on probation….12 months! Listen up, with probation you’ve got an important opportunity to set expectations, make them clear, review performance, measure them and make important life decisions about whether probation will be confirmed or otherwise. You don’t have time to waste and you can terminate the agreement at any time.
- “But what do I tell him???” I hear you ask. You tell him “You’re on probation! Second review is in a couple of months!!!!” 🙀
- You start to slowly back away…👀
- I continue…. during a 12 month probation and especially after the honeymoon period of 6 months is over, performance can start to waiver a little bit. Like you might start to see that they leave their dirty clothes on the floor, track mud on the carpet, eat bread while drinking milk or annoy you in general. This is when you PIP yourself!
- “Oh for Pete’s sake, what’s a PIP?!” you ask.
- A PIP is a Performance Improvement Plan 💁You can get one of these things started at any time. The field of HR have been hogging onto these amazing things for far too long! Whether you’re in the honeymoon faze of first found love or in the cold war of married life, there’s no expiry date with a PIP!
- A PIP is your pal – it’s your barometer – it’s your measurement tape – it’s your sharpie pen on a whiteboard! It equips you with thinking about what YOU want, communicating your expectations clearly and frequently, reviewing performance and MEASURING them (sorry that’s the nerd in me coming out a bit).
- And there’s no excuse that they didn’t know….they had a PIP! (If you’re really keen you could even create a position description, but I’ll leave that up to you)…
- And the best thing of all? You have clear, available evidence for you to review, just for you!
- You can throw a party if they pass. And you can say “I’m sorry, on this occasion your performance has not met the expectations expected of you. I’m sorry to say you will not be receiving a rose tonight…”🥀
- Either way, you have armored yourself with clarity and measurements that give logical information. What could be better?
You can all thank me one day. I will be waiting…
Good luck! 🎂🎂🎂